Dream like state when awake?

im 16 and im scard. pive been asking and asking and ive been in and out of Dr. offices, had EEG testing come back negative and so on But i feel like im always in a dream, like i cant determine reality from uhhh unreality? not sure how to phrase that. But anyways i zone out alot, and i cant remember anything anymore, i panic somtimes cuz i cant figure out whats going on around me, i dont sleep often anymore i just cant seem to go to bed, things just get harder eveyday. i dont know what to do anymore. i cant live this way, i getting to the point ive been contemplating suicide. im depressed and i dont wanna live like this. nothing makes it better. ive been tested for epilepsy and inner ear problems, they came back negative. but i cant remember if i ahd anyother details to add about my symptoms. Please hurry i need answers i dont know how long i can go anymore, i just wanna give up. im scared and anything helpful will be much aprreiciated. btw this all started about a month and a half to 2 months ago.