I feel like everyone hates me and I have low self-asteem:/.?

well, I feel like I am hated by all my friends, even my 'bestfriend' who kinda disrespects me:/. I was like, a kinda popular girl, but then suddenly, everyone started to ignore me, leave me out, not tell me things:/. and when I was one, my dad died, so I've known pretty much everyone longer than I have my own dad, and my mum used to physically abuse me when I was little, and call me fat, ugly, stupid, them sortaa things, and this was like torture to me bcos I feel ugly, fat, stupid, ect:/ but now we're so close!, even though we do frequently fall out. People used to call me fat aswell, and even though I SO want to be skinny, I just never seem to lose the weight:/. I have VERY bad mood-swing, I can go from exited, happy, loud, to quiet, depressed, and really solemn:/ I've cut myself before, and I contemplated suicide:/. I just feel like 99% of the time, my life sucks, and I think I have insomnia, because I never fall asleep at night, and EVERY day I get headaches:/:/. someone give me advice!:(.